I am sure that we have all encountered the following set of events: It is a bright sunny Saturday afternoon and everything is going great, the only problem is our conscience is nagging us; The car needs a wash. So after about two hours of procrastination and empty promises to ourselves that we will do it tomorrow we finally get to it. An hour of blood sweat and tears later the car is shining, spotless inside and out. Content with a job well done you head back inside and just as you sit yourself down you hear the dreaded sound of thunder. Your instantaneous response is to suddenly move faster than you ever have before in your life, grabbing the car keys and dashing out the house only to be drenched to the bone as you step foot out the house. The car of course is neatly returned to its previous state as though the last hour odd never happened. The problem, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky before you sat down.
Or this one: It is another bright and sunny day, the best you have seen in months. The sun is shining and there is a nice cool breeze blowing keeping the temperature just right. So you decide that this is the most perfect day ever to have a nice pleasant cruise through the countryside, stop and have a picnic and another slow cruise back. So the preparations start, the food gets packed and due to the space restrictions the certain things like the rain suit are left behind. The tour begins, the sun shining in your face and everything is perfect. Yet just as you pass the point of no return, the point where it is actually longer to turn back than to keep going to your destination the heavens part the rain starts and you are drenched to the bone on arrival. The problem, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky before the halfway mark.
Enter Absconderus Intellegentia, literally translated means “Hidden Intelligence” however they are more commonly known as Camo-Clouds and are - as their common name implies - camouflaged to the human eye. However they are at times visible in their true form when the conditions are just right. Twilight with Cumulonimbus, or rain clouds in layman’s terms, in the distance is when they are most visible as they have problems adapting to the changing light. To the careful eye they will actually show up a light blue against the Cumulonimbus clouds. To date science has yet to determine how these clouds are actually formed or if they have always existed, however it is known that these clouds unlike all the others are not formed by the varying weather conditions.
The Camo-Clouds are however seen far more often than most people think. In fact whenever there is a clear blue sky that is the Camo-Clouds hiding the Cumulonimbus clouds behind them. As they are the most intelligent of all the clouds, they rule with an iron fist over the other clouds. Even the Cumulonimbus clouds, which have displayed a limited form of intelligence as displayed by the fact that it always rains from the side that you left your car window open, bow to their rule. They have displayed signs of strategy, misdirection and improvisation, all signs of a supreme form of intelligence that we are yet to understand but we have been able to deduce that they act with malicious intent. There camouflaging ability makes them even harder to see or study but we are starting to see the faintest of patterns emerge from what where previously thought to be random weather patterns.
The studies of Camo-Clouds have led to some startling discoveries about our planet too. Where it was originally thought that clouds where interspaced over our blue-green and brown planet it has been discovered that earth is in fact totally surrounded in cloud cover like Venus. The effect of the blue sky as well as the blue-green and brown that can be viewed from space are a result of the Camo-Clouds exercising their ability to camouflage themselves and strategy, creating the illusion of our planet as we know it. The so-called atmospheric distortion that is encountered while trying to observe the stars from ground based telescopes has also been found to rather be a miscommunication between the spotter clouds near the edge of our atmosphere and the display clouds lower down.
Even sunlight is actually controlled by them; the sun is made up of clouds of hydrogen thus putting them under their rule. The level and intensity of the sun and thus the rate at which it warms the earth is determined by them depending on the requirements needed to produce more of their subjects. They themselves have found a way to replicate the effect of sunlight themselves by using a form of fusion. However they only really do this in the winter season where the sun is in a different position and they cannot get the desired effect to create the new clouds or deliver the really hot winter days.
We have also found evidence to support the fact that there is a hierarchical structure in the cloud kingdom; first there are the Camo-Clouds, the rulers and the decision makers. Next come the Cumulus clouds, these are the “big guns” in the cloud kingdom and also have as previously stated possess intelligence even though they might be below that of the Absconderus Intellegentia. Next in rank are the Stratus clouds, those low flat and layered clouds; these are the front line used by the Camo-Clouds as a safe cover for the Cumulus clouds to move into place. Finally come the Cirrus clouds, the curly or fibrous clouds that at times grace our sky via the will of the Camo-Clouds. They are the scouts, the ones that are used to gauge the reaction of people to the presence of clouds and just how nervous we become at their presence.
There have also been signs of coupes in their ranks. The Cumulus clouds usually spearhead these. They are easy to spot, they are when you can see a definite storm brewing and growing in strength right up to the time when it vanishes without a trace, totally destroyed by the all powerful Camo-Cloud, to be replaced with the perfect weather needed to create more, less rebellious subordinates.
They exist, they are there and they are ruling our lives. I warn you all beware, the only real defence we have against them is eternal vigilance.
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