Of all the creatures on this little blue speck of a planet we call home, there are only two that have sex for pleasure. Those would be the Dolphins and Humans. Of those two there is only one that uses lies and mystique in the courting process. Yes, you guessed it, Humans. How often have you sat in a bar / coffee shop / or even a super market and seen someone that “catches your eye”? Then ask yourself how many times when that happens and the person turns and looks back at you do you shift your gaze and stare intently at the can of dog food / bottle of Jack / or coffee grinder just off to the side of them? I do it all the bloody time; we feign disinterest where there is plenty and thus cutting our chances in half if not a quarter.
I have read plenty an article on how to pick up chicks and the likes and have spent plenty an hour on trying to figure out the psychology of people and their actions. What I have read is that the diverting of your gaze is the WORST thing you can do, what you are supposed to do is keep looking and smile as this denotes confidence, something woman apparently like. However I have caught plenty of women doing exactly the same thing to men. They do it slightly differently to men though. They have a tendency to look at the man and then turn their attention on the woman with him (if there is one). What I have seen in those looks have been scary, if looks could kill your companion would not only be dead but would be in and along the lines of “red mist”. It somewhat reminds me of the Adhoc add with the woman that hiss / growl at each other as the guy walks past. If there is no woman then the hair flicking starts.
Now what I would like to know is why all this happens, we all want the same thing don’t we? As much as woman would like to deny it they want to get laid as much as the men but both of the sexes are so caught up in the whole “polite” thing that most of the time nothing happens. However in the latest FHM Sex Survey it says that on average men have sex 2.1 times a week while woman have it 2.9 times a week, now if it takes two to tango the men are getting screwed somewhere along the line and not in the way we want. Sure there are the “chatting up inept” that have a serious disability but why is it that the guy have to do all the damn work?
Woman bitch moan and complain about equality but are still the “hunted” when it comes to relationships. Of course the previous statement is also not one hundred percent true either, they do some pretty serious “hunting” of their own and they do it with such devious skill that it astounds me. They have this ability to “organise” things, be it from being next to the guy they like at the bar, to heading to the bathroom at the same time. Thus always presenting an opportunity for the guy to make a move. But the whole charade is still ever present, the “aloofness” and the “inability to notice” this gorgeous person is still there.
What I found interesting though is that in the FHM I bought with the Sex Survey in came with the South African “Homegrown Honeys” now for those of you that don’t know what that is it is a “talent” hunt amongst the general population of South Africa. While paging though this little booklet and reading the little description they give of each girl. I realised that the most stunning and gorgeous of these entrants where all single. Now this leads me two one of two conclusions, either they are gay or the men are to damn scared to approach this creature of absolute beauty and perfection. I choose to believe the latter. Men are petrified of the whole rejection thing and thus don’t bother. Instead they look, the woman notices and hopes and hopes but nothing happens. This I accredit to the fact that she is appears perfect and has to have been snapped up by someone so why bother? Enter the ego thing again.
Now I ask why doesn’t she come over and introduce herself and if not that she could do it far more discreetly like in Goodwill Hunting, where the woman walks up to the guy and says: “I have been waiting at the end of the bar for two hours waiting for you to come and introduce yourself, I’m tired now and I am going home. Hear is my number call me sometime.” See simple, easy and very womanly. I once had a “similar” experience. I use the quotes because even though it had some similarities ie, the woman approached me that’s about where it ended.
Any way the story is as follows: There I was sitting in my favourite pub with two of my buddies having a great time. I had noticed that this one chick had taken an interest in us but not being quite my type I didn’t bother. That is not to say that she wasn’t good looking, her red hair and hazel eyes and athletic body where a turn on, she was just a tad old for my liking. Anyway there we where getting merrily drunk when all of a sudden she rocked up at our table and said to me in an erotic foreign accent: “I would like to fuck you.” Now this is everyman’s dream right? Well I tell you I nearly had a heart attack, this just did not happen, not to me, hell this doesn’t happen to anyone. Well politely we invited her to join our table and it turned out she was a Brazilian that was flying out the next day. At one point, towards the end of the evening, I got dragged off to show her where the bathroom was. Upon getting there I promptly found her tongue down my throat. I must admit she was a damn good kisser though but that is a bit off topic. After returning it and finally recovering from the near heart attack, I decided that it might be a good idea to pawn her off on my one friend who is far more… open to situations like this. Smoothly done as ever I slipped out and let him turn on his usual charm. Anyway, lets just say that the 2.1 / 2.9 statistic got justified that evening and I never found out whether the Brazilian wax should be called that.
Now you are asking what is my point with my entire little story there. Let me tell you. After this particular hair-raising incident I came to realise that the entire cloak and dagger thing that us Humans have developed over the years is actually quite a good thing. Sure we could be more open about how we feel and thus relieve a lot of the pressure that is involved in the entire dating ritual but all round it is the thing that keeps it civil.
I have read plenty an article on how to pick up chicks and the likes and have spent plenty an hour on trying to figure out the psychology of people and their actions. What I have read is that the diverting of your gaze is the WORST thing you can do, what you are supposed to do is keep looking and smile as this denotes confidence, something woman apparently like. However I have caught plenty of women doing exactly the same thing to men. They do it slightly differently to men though. They have a tendency to look at the man and then turn their attention on the woman with him (if there is one). What I have seen in those looks have been scary, if looks could kill your companion would not only be dead but would be in and along the lines of “red mist”. It somewhat reminds me of the Adhoc add with the woman that hiss / growl at each other as the guy walks past. If there is no woman then the hair flicking starts.
Now what I would like to know is why all this happens, we all want the same thing don’t we? As much as woman would like to deny it they want to get laid as much as the men but both of the sexes are so caught up in the whole “polite” thing that most of the time nothing happens. However in the latest FHM Sex Survey it says that on average men have sex 2.1 times a week while woman have it 2.9 times a week, now if it takes two to tango the men are getting screwed somewhere along the line and not in the way we want. Sure there are the “chatting up inept” that have a serious disability but why is it that the guy have to do all the damn work?
Woman bitch moan and complain about equality but are still the “hunted” when it comes to relationships. Of course the previous statement is also not one hundred percent true either, they do some pretty serious “hunting” of their own and they do it with such devious skill that it astounds me. They have this ability to “organise” things, be it from being next to the guy they like at the bar, to heading to the bathroom at the same time. Thus always presenting an opportunity for the guy to make a move. But the whole charade is still ever present, the “aloofness” and the “inability to notice” this gorgeous person is still there.
What I found interesting though is that in the FHM I bought with the Sex Survey in came with the South African “Homegrown Honeys” now for those of you that don’t know what that is it is a “talent” hunt amongst the general population of South Africa. While paging though this little booklet and reading the little description they give of each girl. I realised that the most stunning and gorgeous of these entrants where all single. Now this leads me two one of two conclusions, either they are gay or the men are to damn scared to approach this creature of absolute beauty and perfection. I choose to believe the latter. Men are petrified of the whole rejection thing and thus don’t bother. Instead they look, the woman notices and hopes and hopes but nothing happens. This I accredit to the fact that she is appears perfect and has to have been snapped up by someone so why bother? Enter the ego thing again.
Now I ask why doesn’t she come over and introduce herself and if not that she could do it far more discreetly like in Goodwill Hunting, where the woman walks up to the guy and says: “I have been waiting at the end of the bar for two hours waiting for you to come and introduce yourself, I’m tired now and I am going home. Hear is my number call me sometime.” See simple, easy and very womanly. I once had a “similar” experience. I use the quotes because even though it had some similarities ie, the woman approached me that’s about where it ended.
Any way the story is as follows: There I was sitting in my favourite pub with two of my buddies having a great time. I had noticed that this one chick had taken an interest in us but not being quite my type I didn’t bother. That is not to say that she wasn’t good looking, her red hair and hazel eyes and athletic body where a turn on, she was just a tad old for my liking. Anyway there we where getting merrily drunk when all of a sudden she rocked up at our table and said to me in an erotic foreign accent: “I would like to fuck you.” Now this is everyman’s dream right? Well I tell you I nearly had a heart attack, this just did not happen, not to me, hell this doesn’t happen to anyone. Well politely we invited her to join our table and it turned out she was a Brazilian that was flying out the next day. At one point, towards the end of the evening, I got dragged off to show her where the bathroom was. Upon getting there I promptly found her tongue down my throat. I must admit she was a damn good kisser though but that is a bit off topic. After returning it and finally recovering from the near heart attack, I decided that it might be a good idea to pawn her off on my one friend who is far more… open to situations like this. Smoothly done as ever I slipped out and let him turn on his usual charm. Anyway, lets just say that the 2.1 / 2.9 statistic got justified that evening and I never found out whether the Brazilian wax should be called that.
Now you are asking what is my point with my entire little story there. Let me tell you. After this particular hair-raising incident I came to realise that the entire cloak and dagger thing that us Humans have developed over the years is actually quite a good thing. Sure we could be more open about how we feel and thus relieve a lot of the pressure that is involved in the entire dating ritual but all round it is the thing that keeps it civil.
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